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Raising resilient children

Table of Contents

The moral of the story

One of Haidt’s most influential ideas is the concept of moral foundations. According to Haidt, six core moral foundations underlie human morality:

Dealing with adversity

Another key insight from Haidt’s work is the importance of adversity in building resilience. Haidt argues that adversity is an essential part of the human experience and plays a critical role in shaping our character and helping us develop the resilience and grit needed to succeed in life. This means that, as parents, we need to be willing to let our children struggle and face challenges, even when it’s difficult to watch them struggle.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that we should be indifferent to our children’s struggles or abandon them when they face difficulties. Instead, we should provide them with the support and guidance they need to overcome challenges while allowing them to take ownership of their problems and find solutions.

Helping your children develop ‘grit’

Psychological grit refers to an individual’s ability to persevere and maintain long-term passion and perseverance towards their goals, despite facing obstacles, setbacks, and failure. One way to do this is to encourage our children to take on challenges beyond their current abilities. By doing so, we can help them build confidence and develop a sense of mastery, which can help them become more resilient in the face of future challenges.

Growth mindset

A related idea from Haidt’s work is the importance of cultivating a growth mindset in our children. A growth mindset believes that intelligence and abilities can be developed through hard work and effort rather than being fixed traits that we are born with. By encouraging our children to adopt a growth mindset, we can help them see challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning rather than as signs of failure or inadequacy. One practical way to encourage a growth mindset is to praise effort and persistence rather than innate talent or intelligence. When we praise our children for their hard work and perseverance, we convey that these qualities are valued and important, which can help them develop a more positive and growth-oriented mindset.

Connections count

Finally, another key insight from Haidt’s work is the importance of social connection and community. Haidt argues that humans are social animals and that our happiness and well-being are deeply tied to our relationships with others. As parents, we must prioritise our children’s social development and help them build strong relationships with family, friends, and other community members. One way to do this is to encourage our children to participate in extracurricular activities that allow them to connect with others who share their interests and passions. Whether it’s a sports team, a music group, or a volunteer organisation, these activities teach children crucial social skills and foster a sense of belonging and identity.

Proactive parenting

Raising resilient children is an essential aspect of parenting that requires deliberate and consistent effort. It instils in children the ability to handle challenges, failures, and setbacks and bounce back. Parents can help their children develop resilience by providing emotional support while allowing them to take risks that stretch and enhance their abilities.

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